« what you missed
update - 05.03.06
kenny..my fellow freak - 05.18.05
thoughts - 03.01.05
Lly - 12.28.04
11 hour day - 12.15.04
somedays i wonder if this dream of inevitable certainty will come true. if all these minutes i spend studying will be done in vain. i guess i'll just have to find out.
when it come to love- i know that i've only been in it once. it was that mood altering heart stopping kinf. i think it was something about the way he looked at me- the way he touched my skin. i felt pretty despite my awkardness as a growing teenager. i smiled because he made me happy, because he made me a better person.
as i think of my first love- much has been forgotten. i put all the memories of his love into a box that sits under my bed. sometimes its as if it never happened. the same thing is becoming true about high school. the pictures have been put away and the diploma hidden. now my room is covered with college face and places and i can't say that i don't like it. but something it's nice to think about what you had and where its gone. my classmates are scattered across the nation living out their given calls. as for me, i am cozy in this new life that i've created. the life i've come to love and cerish.
if i could go back to high school- i wouldn't. (well maybe for 1 day) the people i have always cared about are still actively involved in my life and that's what i care about. but they too have a become a part of my new life- of new beginnings and never ending resoutions.